National Security at its Grandest

Posted on 18 September 2007

Ever since I got myself a tripod about 3 days ago I have been going out with a friend or two on nightly photo expeditions. Last night we chose the Republican Square as it provided a decent number of sights from nearly all angles and it was also in the proximity of the Islamic Center, which is apparently very suited for nighttime photography.

We had sat down and started photographing the giant National flag when we were approached by a bunch of guys, not older than us, in camouflage uniform who politely demanded to see our photos. They sternly informed us that they wanted to check if we had photographed their fort. My friend, who had the camera at this point, protestantly asked them why they did not check the camera of every tourist who came there to photograph the landmark, to which the soldiers did not offer a reply. After we showed them the pictures, satisfied, they left us alone for the rest of the night.

I have nothing against the soldiers who interrupted us, they were just following orders, no matter how inherently stupid they were. Why stupid? The fort is, incovenient it may be, behind one of the greatest symbols of our national identity and sovereignty. I keep wondering if they really expect photographers to somehow filter out an entire building or perhaps to avoid photographing the area just to protect our so-called national security. Its also amusing the way they seem to consider a bunch of ‘punk kids’ photoing their building (supposing that we were photoing that miserable fort) a security threat. If we were conspiring to bring down the mighty establishment with insurmountable miltary force, I would think that we would choose a less conspicuous place for surveillance work. I suppose the fat pompous generals who reside in this heavily armed establishment fails to equip themselves with a bit of common logic and rationality. These guys are seriously suffering from a chronic form of military paranoia.

MNDF, if you are really concerned about people photographing your mighty impenetrable fortress (which stood like the rock of Gibralatar during ‘89 attack), perhaps you will consider adopting one of the following suggestions (call them action plans) of mine. They are sure to deter even the boldest of amateur and professional photographers, the scum bag terrorists, right?
1) Shoot anyone wielding a camera within a mile radius of your fort
2) Blow up the Republic Square and replace it with an ominous war-torn burial ground (fill up the graveyards with the government’s opposition leaders - that would appease someone very dear to us all)
3) Build an additional fortress surrounding the existing structure, paint it black and mount the heads (on tall spikes) of any photographer who dares to point their infernal lenses anywhere near your walls.

Nice to know that we are spending billions of Rufiyaa arming these guys to the teeth and all they seem to do is shoo off local photographers (foreigners are okay, even missionaries, so long as they are white and wearing shorts and tank tops) and lets not forget, parading around as if they owned the roads from time to time. Yup, national security at its grandest.


A chat with Santa

Posted on 9 September 2007

Hello, I know I normally don’t post such trivial stuff but I couldn’t resist this when I unexpectedly stumbled upon it within the vastness of my hard disk. The following is a conversation I had with one of those MSN Bots during (circa) Christmas 2006. An attempt at self humor, I guess.

 

fɨʑɐɳ says:

Hi Santa!!!

Santa Claus says:

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, fɨʑɐɳ! I’m Santa Claus!

 

Tell me, are you a boy or a girl?

fɨʑɐɳ says:

Boy.

Santa Claus says:

And what do you want for Christmas, fɨʑɐɳ?

fɨʑɐɳ says:

A Boeing 747 Jumbo Jet, 3 dozen boxes of condoms, about $ 25 billion and a Russian military grade nuclear armed submarine.

Santa Claus says:

 

My, that’s popular nowadays!

 

I’ll see what I can do!

 

Anything else, fɨʑɐɳ?

fɨʑɐɳ says:

Yeah, a PlayStation 3 would be nice too.

Santa Claus says:

 

That certainly is a popular item this Christmas!

 

I’ll see what I can do for you, fɨʑɐɳ!

fɨʑɐɳ says:

Hows North Pole?

Santa Claus says:

The North Pole is on top of the world!

 

Where are you?

fɨʑɐɳ says:

Retarded beard-o. I am in South Pole.  Thats near your ‘where the sun doesn’t shine’

Santa Claus says:

I’ve been there! Ho ho ho!

fɨʑɐɳ says:

Oh and a Blu-ray player too.

Santa Claus says:

Interesting!

fɨʑɐɳ says:

and one last thing, a BJ from Mrs. Claus. but she has to look at least 40 years younger, k?

Santa Claus says:

That’s a bit naughty.

fɨʑɐɳ says:

… but I can have it, right? Where’s your Christmas spirit, Santa?

Santa Claus says:

I live in the North Pole!